Smart oxymorons
by Joy Ugi
Issue date: 4/20/09 Section: Opinion
They make me laugh, they make me cry.
Oxymorons are truly the most ridiculous parts of language. As if understanding each other wasn't difficult enough, we put two words together that are a contradiction in terms.
The worst part is, we often accept oxymorons unquestionably without realizing how illogical we sound; there's a reason for the second half of the word.
Have you ever given someone your unbiased opinion about something? You may think you are explaining what you think about something in the most objective light. Try as you might to be objective, you're going to fail because the definition of an opinion is to be biased towards one side or another.
The most annoying and frequently-used oxymoron is the phrase ordinary people. Think about it; no one is ordinary. Every person is unique. But I still hear it being used all the time, especially by the media.
It also uses the phrase zero tolerance quite a bit. If you use the number zero in a phrase, then all other numbers must have the potential to work in that phrase. Thus, zero tolerance, one tolerance, two tolerance, etc. See how it doesn't make sense?
Now that I've ridiculed and blasted one of the most common and problematic language impediments, let me give you some alternatives to using oxymorons.
First, take out the often useless adjective at the beginning of an oxymoron phrase; adjectives are overrated. Don't claim your opinion is unbiased or that people are ordinary. And cut out the drama of the numbers; the word intolerant is in the dictionary.
Snipping out oxymorons from your vocabulary will help you sound more intelligent, an advantage when you're writing papers and applying for jobs. Of course, the exception is when you use them purposely.
As long as you know you sound ridiculous or just using them to have a laugh, that's okay. Otherwise, you're headed down a slippery slope.
Oxymorons are truly the most ridiculous parts of language. As if understanding each other wasn't difficult enough, we put two words together that are a contradiction in terms.
The worst part is, we often accept oxymorons unquestionably without realizing how illogical we sound; there's a reason for the second half of the word.
Have you ever given someone your unbiased opinion about something? You may think you are explaining what you think about something in the most objective light. Try as you might to be objective, you're going to fail because the definition of an opinion is to be biased towards one side or another.
The most annoying and frequently-used oxymoron is the phrase ordinary people. Think about it; no one is ordinary. Every person is unique. But I still hear it being used all the time, especially by the media.
It also uses the phrase zero tolerance quite a bit. If you use the number zero in a phrase, then all other numbers must have the potential to work in that phrase. Thus, zero tolerance, one tolerance, two tolerance, etc. See how it doesn't make sense?
Now that I've ridiculed and blasted one of the most common and problematic language impediments, let me give you some alternatives to using oxymorons.
First, take out the often useless adjective at the beginning of an oxymoron phrase; adjectives are overrated. Don't claim your opinion is unbiased or that people are ordinary. And cut out the drama of the numbers; the word intolerant is in the dictionary.
Snipping out oxymorons from your vocabulary will help you sound more intelligent, an advantage when you're writing papers and applying for jobs. Of course, the exception is when you use them purposely.
As long as you know you sound ridiculous or just using them to have a laugh, that's okay. Otherwise, you're headed down a slippery slope.
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